After quite the hiatus, I’ve finally returned. So you, O lone reader, need not fret. I have indeed come back. Let’s give this thing a better shot.
Since I’ve last written on this site, I finished up my Junior year of college, and I’ve been recuperating back home in Georgia. Within the next few days, I will be returning to that same school for a fabulous program entitled ND Vision.
From where I stand, I see some pretty astounding changes coming for me. Even stranger, however, is that I’ve started to notice the old giving birth to the new. As a friend of mine recently said of our responsibilities, “We’re Seniors now, that means we’re expected to be doing stuff!” The strange thing is, we both already have been, or at least, we have already begun. Just next week, I will be on the opposite end of a retreat than I am used to. While I’m not entirely in charge of everything (thank God!), I am a leader, a ‘mentor-in-faith.’ Yeah, sure, there are about 60 others in the same position, but in the end, this is a significant thing for me.
I’m used to being led, to listening, and to receiving. Now, that’s not to say I’m a terrific follower, by any means, but I’m at least more used to it. Here, I’m the one who assists, I’m the companion for the journeys of these teens. When thinking about that recently, I grew anxious, because frankly, I don’t feel ‘ready.’ I asked a youth minister last week, “How can I possibly be a leader to these teens if I, myself, don’t feel spiritually ready?” What she said in response hit me in a strange way and somewhat calmed me. I’m human; only God is perfect. Naturally, I don’t have everything perfect in my life, and really, it’s ok that I don’t feel prepared to lead and whatnot. The only way things can happen is if they happen through God. When I’m weak, God makes me strong, and it is when I acknowledge that weakness that I can allow God to work. Of course I can witness to them, because it’s not just me who’s at work! The interesting thing is, though, that while my weakness is quite real, I’ve actually already realized all of this.
I have already begun to adjust, to grow, and to take on my new roles in life. My mindset has changed, to the point that I look to the future in terms of the present. I’ve neither become obsessed with the events of the past nor with my hopes for the future. Although in general, I am unsure where my life is headed, I am embracing my path with hope. As for how that relates to ND Vision, I think that this perspective will help me to not only open myself up more, but also understand the perspectives of the teens. Yes, we are each on a journey, but they are far from alone or independent. As Fr. John Dunne echoed to his class (many times) from Christian history, all of our hearts’ desire is in God. We each have are own paths to reach that desire, but we all have a common goal.
Whatever my personality may be, I can help. I may be rather introverted, I may not know what to say all the time, and I may not be able to remember names very well, but dang it, I can do something. I can be a mentor-in-faith despite all of my weakness. And I can do so because I am not alone. God is with me.
So I say to God, along with Kierkegaard (I think…), for all that is past, “Thanks!” and for all that is in the future, “Yes!”
Recent Comments